2009

So I'm sitting in my closet on my computer (yeah it's in my closet..idk I'm weird..i like the solitude of it) and I'm thinking a lot about life lately. I've really taken most of my life for granted and I don't wanna do that anymore. On new years eve I was just looking around at all my friends just thinking how blessed I was to have more than a handful of people in my life that I could count on for anything and that I truly love. This year I want to actually LIVE and feel completely ALIVE again cause ever since my ex boyfriend was killed I've just been walking around numb from everything and I'm realizing now that I've been missing out of some really great opportunities because of it. And I'm not going to do that anymore.


THANK GOD 2008 is over! It was one of the worst years for me, everything just sucked bad! My mom and dad got separated, I was sent to rehab cause I tried to kill myself, my uncle died and so much more bullshit.

But anyways..they say that the way you spend your new years eve is how you will spend the rest of your year..god I hope that's true!! My nye was amazing! I went to my ex boyfriend's house for his party which prob sounds weird but we're really good friends and we roll with the same crew of kids too. So I went to his house and it was a blast! Like every guy there was hitting on me and I could tell my ex was getting jealous even though he had his girlfriend there but she wasn't aloud to sleep over even though she's 21 years old lol gayyy! So Kyle, my ex kept telling me I should just stay over his house (after his girl left) and I was like "i would but i don't wanna sleep on the futon its so uncomfy" and he said i could sleep in his bed with him and i was kinda like err ok..we didn't hook up or anything but we did wake up all cuddled together..it was cute. I've been fasting since new years eve and I've dropped 6lbs so I'm real excited about that!

I have a few new years resolutions; first is to drop 20lbs and tone my shit up, second is to fall in love again, third is to finally be happy and feel alive again!

What are you girls resolutions? Hopefully everyone had a wonderful holiday! xoxo