"Smiling through denial, my specialty. I thought it was a good thing for awhile."
Those song lyrics perfectly define my life. I act as though everything is perfect in my world and my friends believe it. I've learned how to bullshit my way through almost any situation imaginable. Does anyone else feel like that? I mean, I tried to kill myself and was sent to the loony bin for a week because of it and I was able to just tell my friends that I was away up at my cousins in New Hampshire for the week and they all believed me. And when I came home with slices through my arms, they asked what happened and I just told them that my puppy did it to me. Really?! Come on now..my dog would have to be kujo to do that to me. They're either complete idiots or they don't care enough to try and figure out the truth. I've been feeling really lonely lately, I wish there was someone I could open up to about all this in my real life but there isn't. Anyway..my eating has been really good lately up until today that is. I binged so hardcore on donuts..I had 4 powdered donuts and now I feel like a fat blimp! I hate it!!! I'm trying to fast really bad..I started at 12pm and wanna try to go for three days but I've never made it past two. Does anyone have any tips or tricks that might help me to get through the three days? I'd reallllly appreciate it! Anyway I'm off to babysit..maybe I'll update later on. xoxox!
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Yes. I definitely feel that way. Its astonishing how oblivious some people can be. But I guess everyone is sort of self-absorbed.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck on your fast.
I feel ya girly. I was in the bin for a month after my SA and when I got back to school people hadn't realized I'd even been gone... I didn't really have friends though so idk.
ReplyDeleteSome tips for sticking to a fast: It's easier to DO something than NOT to do something. When I juice fast, I have to force myself to drink my juice and water. Usually after I've knocked back a couple bottles I don't want to eat. If this is a water fast, MAKE yourself suck five or six ice cubes down to water and then see again if you want to eat.
Something else I do in general when I don't want to eat is count down from 30 and imagine myself a pound thinner for eat number. I'm 17 so daydreaming my life in 2 1/2 months when I'm 18 is super motivating. I don't want to be fat when my life begins!
I just did a 24 hr fast, and just started another. Sometimes it's easier when you break it up, esp. if you eat good food during the three or four hours in between. Particularly when your parents feel good watching you eat.
Hope this helped a bit.. Good luck!
xo Hana